


What Crowley Heard

by Mordhena



Series: What Crowley Heard [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Car Sex, Crack, Fluff, M/M, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Voyeurism, non consensual in that Crowley didn't ask permission to eavesdrop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:11:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2958944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/pseuds/Mordhena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Season Five Episode 20 <em>The Devil You Know</em>, Crowley explains that he had his valet plant a magical coin in Dean’s car when the boys broke into his home. ( S05E10: <em>Abandon All Hope</em>) which allows him to track the boys’ location despite the hex bags they carry to hide them from demons. It also allows Crowley to listen in on conversations. This fic <em>(possible series of fics)</em> was inspired by Crowley’s line. <b>“And oh, the things I’ve heard!”</b> which he said when he explained about the coin in The Devil You Know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Crowley Heard

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a plot bunny that tickled my ear when I heard Crowley say "Oh the things I've heard" I decided I would write this fic for the fun of it, and since have had stirrings of other possible scenarios which I will write if people seem to want them. Comments and kudos will give me an indication of this! ;)  
> Italics use should be self explanatory, but just in case. Italics are used to show when we are in Crowley's head or to show emphasis in dialogue for this piece.

Crowley enters his study and closes the door, telling his staff not to disturb him for the next hour. He has some eavesdropping to do. Quite the clever little ruse, planting that coin in the Winchester’s car, he can keep tabs on the pair and listen in, whenever he feels inclined, find out what they’re up to and anything else that might come in handy.

He moves to a cabinet to one side of the room and pours himself a generous measure of whisky before settling in behind his desk. The small silver bowl is standing there ready and Crowley leans over it, whispers some words in Enochian and settles back to see what he can learn this time. It’s not long before the bowl vibrates, signalling that it has picked up on a conversation.

Sam: _:drunkenly:_ So, truth or dare time... Have you ever worn women's underwear?

Dean: What? No! What?

Sam: C'mon Dean not even once? Your ears are red. You're lying... The ears always tell the truth. And you know my dares are way worse than any truth you might have to tell

Dean: :groans: Seriously, where do you come up with these ideas?

_There is the sound of someone swilling some kind of liquid from a bottle_

Dean: I'm only telling you this because you're drunk and there's no way you're gonna remember in the morning

Sam: Oh I might.

Dean: Nah uh. You never remember.  
Dean: So this girl, Rhonda ...  
Dean: she might have had me try on a pair of her panties

Sam: Are you serious?

_*silence for a beat and is that a slight uptick in Sam’s breathing, or maybe it’s Dean who’s getting hot and bothered. Crowley leans forward. "Now this is getting interesting."*_

Sam: So…um… you tried them on right?

Dean I might have. _*teasingly*_

Sam: No come on, tell me. Did you put them on?

 _“Oh the pervy little sod… Sam_ is _getting off on this!”_

Dean: Okay… all right, jeeze! I put them on for like half a minute.

_That was a definite sound of a gulp, and it sounded extremely Samlike._

Sam: What color were they? Were they lacy?

Dean: Sam, you’re enjoying this to the level of creepy.

Sam: Humour me, Dean. Like you said I’m not gonna remember this right?

Dean: *sighs* They were pink. Not lacy, they were made of some kind of shiny material…satin? Kind of smooth and...

_*dean’s voice takes on a dreamy quality*_

Dean: Soft.

Sam: You _liked_ it!

Dean: Shut up!

_*sounds of leather car seats creaking and a huffed laugh from Sam*_

Dean: Shut up! Look, I’ve had enough of this! Just drop it okay, Sam?

Sam: No way. You liked it. You actually _liked_ wearing a girl’s panties, Dean!

Dean: It was a minute. One minute out of a whole life. Besides you’re the one obsessing over it. You got a secret fetish, Sammy?

Sam: Women’s panties are nice. Nothing wrong with liking them…

_*more leather creaking*_

Sam: What’s to be ashamed of?

Dean: Anyone ever told you you’ve got personal space issues, Sam? You…you’re practically sitting in my lap.

Sam: Yeah…so?

Dean: So… so maybe you should back off.

Sam: I don’t think that’s what you really want, Dean. I think you’re just...

_*silence for a moment and the snick of a kiss*_

Sam: You’re just playing the macho card and I think you ought to stop. *another smooching sound* I think you ought to just admit you got off on wearing panties and…

Dean: Sam! _*a growl in his voice, but it’s half hearted at best*_

Sam: Relax, Dean, your secret’s safe with me. No one else need ever know. Besides I think it’s hot, too, so why would I go blabbing about that to anyone?

Dean: Sammy… God when you… oh, do that again. Yeah, right there…

_Crowley wrinkles his nose in mild distaste and leans away from the silver bowl. “Right, that’s enough for now thanks. I don’t need to get engrossed in the incestuous liaisons of those two knuckle heads."_


End file.
